Just a bump in the road

A couple of months ago when Xavier fell out the window. I had a feeling it was not time for him to be gone, but you will know the feeling of death soon. Even though I was only 5-6 weeks pregnant, I feel like I knew this little fetus even if it was just a short amount of time.

Being pregnant, I was surprised to find out I was pregnant. We have been trying for 7 months with no success. I cramped for two weeks before I found out I was pregnant. I only took a test to prove to my body I wasn't pregnant. Boy was I wrong.
The same day I found out, I also got really sick with what I thought was a bad cold. I was wrong it was influenza. After I started feeling better with that was when the cramps started.
The next week was a blur of blood draws, ultrasounds and taking it easy. The doctor even had me take progesterone that made me very sick. But Friday we knew it was not going to work out. I stopped taking the progesterone and just waited.
Saturday we celebrated Xavier's 2nd birthday. I tried to be happy, for our guests, but who knows how well I did. Sunday was full of cramps, but still no bleeding. Monday the doctor office called I told them still no bleeding so we set up a doctor appointment. Last night I started to bleed more with clots. Then it stopped. As I sat here today it started somewhat again today, so the doctor office told me not to come in because it is starting.
I am sad, but at peace about it. I know we will have another baby someday. It is just a bump in the road for us. Not all this month has been bad. Good things with Mike's work. Kids have been healthy. I have also got away with no cleaning so far this month. I just think this will just make me stronger like most things. I just need to take the time to heal. I know somedays will be harder than others. But the Lord is on my side and so is my husband.